Booklover

1. 156
   23
   Jun
   

   How to Speak English Properly

   nihilnoetia:

   myfengshuilife:

   1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
   2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
   3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
   4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
   5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
   6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
   7. Be more or less specific.
   8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
   9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
   10. No sentence fragments.
   11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
   12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
   13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
   14. One should NEVER generalize.
   15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
   16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
   17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
   18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
   19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
   20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
   21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
   22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
   23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
   24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
   25. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
   26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
   27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
   28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
   29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
   30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
   
   And the last one…
   
   31.
   

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      i’ll miss being an english tutor

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       1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...

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       nihilnoetia:myfengshuilife:

   22. hopesull reblogged this from ilurvethislife and added:

       Hehee excellent!

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       I am totally guilty of #26. Although, I usually follow my bad puns with “(

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       Whoever wrote this, thank you.

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       booklover: nihilnoetia: myfengshuilife:

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       I will review this in the morning :]

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       This is awesome, and I agree completely with this list. I am, however, disappointed to admit that in my drunken state…it...

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       1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...

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       For Button, the English major: LURN U SUM LESONZ.

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       1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...

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       nashvilleneedsmoremetaphors:wooliebear:grammargrouch:cijimcb:myfengshuilife:

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   95. graceinsmallthings reblogged this from nashvilleneedsmoremetaphors and added:

       Nothing makes me happier than this list.

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       ::CACKLE:: Lifted from:

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        (funny, though it makes me twitch a bit)

   104. abrandnewcolony reblogged this from booktumbling and added:

        Nice. Sometimes we all need reminders.

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        1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...

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