1. 156
    23
    Jun

    How to Speak English Properly

    nihilnoetia:

    myfengshuilife:

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
    2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
    3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
    4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
    5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
    6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
    7. Be more or less specific.
    8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
    9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
    10. No sentence fragments.
    11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
    12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
    13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
    14. One should NEVER generalize.
    15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
    16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
    17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
    18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
    19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
    20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
    21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
    22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
    23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
    24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
    25. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
    26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
    27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
    28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
    29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
    30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

    And the last one…

    31.
    1. autocosmica reblogged this from alla1
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    3. ohtricia reblogged this from alla1 and added:
      i’ll miss being an english tutor
    4. patisseriepoupon reblogged this from ceasefire
    5. ceasefire reblogged this from chelsysarah
    6. chelsysarah reblogged this from alla1
    7. ryanhedger reblogged this from alla1
    8. meliohmy reblogged this from hopesull and added:
      1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...
    9. lovecity reblogged this from alla1
    10. alla1 reblogged this from booklover and added:
      nihilnoetia:myfengshuilife:
    11. hopesull reblogged this from ilurvethislife and added:
      Hehee excellent!
    12. hlly reblogged this from booklover
    13. ilurvethislife reblogged this from ellarouge
    14. billyliar reblogged this from ellarouge
    15. wheremer reblogged this from brent-miller
    16. ellarouge reblogged this from western-aristocracy
    17. katietothemax reblogged this from booktumbling and added:
      I am totally guilty of #26. Although, I usually follow my bad puns with “(
    18. sungtongs reblogged this from annasalem
    19. michellevillapando reblogged this from hijenamos and added:
      Whoever wrote this, thank you.
    20. ohheyandreeuh reblogged this from i-need-a-hero
    21. rebeccaenglish reblogged this from booktumbling and added:
      booklover: nihilnoetia: myfengshuilife:
    22. lifesagamble reblogged this from booktumbling
    23. hijenamos reblogged this from whereismyrushmore and added:
      I will review this in the morning :]
    24. kitchit reblogged this from booktumbling
    25. outer reblogged this from bea19912005
    26. population1 reblogged this from graceinsmallthings and added:
      This is awesome, and I agree completely with this list. I am, however, disappointed to admit that in my drunken state…it...
    27. bea19912005 reblogged this from tothebarricades
    28. waterforbreakfast reblogged this from quartey
    29. illuminatin reblogged this from booktumbling
    30. myownmelt reblogged this from and added:
      1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...
    31. brent-miller reblogged this from booktumbling
    32. gilmoure reblogged this from nashvilleneedsmoremetaphors
    33. criticalthinking reblogged this from artsymcfartsy
    34. edgyasasatsuma reblogged this from booktumbling and added:
      For Button, the English major: LURN U SUM LESONZ.
    35. quartey reblogged this from tothebarricades
    36. mariellie reblogged this from lizlemon and added:
      1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...
    37. lizlemon reblogged this from graceinsmallthings and added:
      nashvilleneedsmoremetaphors:wooliebear:grammargrouch:cijimcb:myfengshuilife:
    38. yumwatch reblogged this from graceinsmallthings
    39. marypark reblogged this from graceinsmallthings
    40. tothebarricades reblogged this from thebriskconvergence
    41. graceinsmallthings reblogged this from nashvilleneedsmoremetaphors and added:
      Nothing makes me happier than this list.
    42. thebriskconvergence reblogged this from and added:
      ::CACKLE:: Lifted from:
    43. artsymcfartsy reblogged this from booktumbling
    44. okelay reblogged this from booktumbling and added:
      (funny, though it makes me twitch a bit)
    45. abrandnewcolony reblogged this from booktumbling and added:
      Nice. Sometimes we all need reminders.
    46. whereismyrushmore reblogged this from booktumbling
    47. librarianglasses reblogged this from booktumbling
    48. booktumbling reblogged this from booklover
    49. juliaspeaks reblogged this from booklover and added:
      1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a...
    50. western-aristocracy reblogged this from booklover
    51. booklover reblogged this from nihilnoetia
    52. nashvilleneedsmoremetaphors reblogged this from wooliebear
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    54. nihilnoetia reblogged this from i-need-a-hero
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    60. epicinbluejeans reblogged this from i-need-a-hero
    61. i-need-a-hero posted this
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